I kind of think our faith in God works much the same way. Things are going along swimmingly and I know God is there, I know He is behind me, supporting me, cheering me on. But I can tell you, after day 2 of no power, I was seriously doubting His existence. Silly, silly of me, I know and so immature. Just when I think I've become this woman of great and mature faith, a woman of God, we lose power for a few hours and my faith falls apart. I am ashamed to admit it. Just thinking about this, makes my cheeks burn crimson and frankly, scares me to death. I have to wonder: what if something really and truly bad happened to me....would my thin line of faith hold? Would I know God was there and that He wasn't just my cheerleader, but that He was holding me, loving me, supporting me, regardless? Would I fall on Him, run to Him, BE with Him?
I know the answer, of course, is yes. Really and truly bad things have happened and He was there. I knew He was there. I've cried and grieved, screamed and yelled, fallen down and felt His love none-the-less. I've even been mad at God, blaming Him for the bad and still, despite it all, despite my immature actions and faith, I've felt it. I've felt HIS LOVE, known with every fiber of my being that He was there, not just with me, but UPholding me.
Without power, I was cold and uncomfortable, sitting in bleak darkness in the middle of December. Without Him....frankly, that is just too scary to even consider.
Until Next Time,